She Kissed Me
by Kadiedid
Summary: What does Deeks really think of the kiss that happened during their last assignment? Post 'Neighborhood Watch' from Deeks POV.


_**A/N This is another fluffy oneshot post 'Neighborhood Watch' and is a companion story to 'He Remembered'. This is from Deeks POV and can stand alone.** **CBS and Shane Brennan own everything!**_

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Worst. Assignment. Ever. That was the only way to describe the past couple of weeks. He had been on cases where he was very nearly beaten to death, was shot, stabbed, starved, drugged, and almost blown up but none of that compared to the torture of this one. He had been 'married' to Kensi for over a week. Actually his alias Justin was married to her alias Melissa but it was just semantics. They had been living together in the same house, sleeping in the same bed and it had been pure torture.

Not because they couldn't get along, because in truth they had actually fallen into the 'happy couple' routine very nicely. There were a few small hiccups along the way but nothing major. He was actually surprised at how they had managed to be so comfortable with each other. Disagreements had been handled with a mutual agreement to compromise. What that meant was that he usually ended up doing whatever she wanted… after he had his say, of course.

She was messy and unorganized but he knew that already. He was tidy and neat and they complimented each other well. She made messes and he cleaned them up. He accused her of 'pretending to clean' and she accused him of having an 'obsessive compulsive disorder'. It should have been a nightmare but it wasn't. It was the stuff dreams were made of. His dreams of her... of them together.

Which is why he considered it to be pure torture. Because it could never happen. She was Wonder Woman and didn't need anyone, especially not him. He was sure that she only saw him as her goofy, trustworthy, annoying partner and that was all he would ever be. What he wanted didn't matter but that was okay with him. As long as he could be with her and be the one who had her back on assignments he would be happy with it. He would take what he could get.

Night time was the hardest. Actually sleeping in the same bed with her was difficult that first night. All he wanted was to hold her and kiss her senseless but he knew it was impossible. He slept very little. After he finally did fall asleep he was bombarded with dreams of her. When he woke up the next morning he had managed to cuddle up next to her in the night. His first thought was that she was going to kill him but when he saw that she had her arm around his waist and her head against his neck he realized that this might not have been his fault. He lay awake listening to her breathe and was afraid of what would happen when she woke up. She surprised him by yawning and stretching and saying good morning. She patted him on the arm and got up to get dressed. She was so unpredictable.

Some of what she did was adorable. Like pretending to bake cookies and dressing up to take them to the old man down the street. She was so beautiful in that dress and the apron tied around her waist just about did him in.

Some of what she did scared him. When Serena died in the garage he wanted to run in there and make sure she was okay but knew he couldn't without blowing their cover. He practically yelled over the com link for her to get out of there. When they got back to the house he went into overprotective mode. He found a bag of frozen peas to put on her arm where she had been kicked. He made her a fresh cup of coffee and forced her to sit still on the couch for a while.

The conversation they started while sitting on the couch was the closest he had ever come to confessing everything to her. Her admission that she liked this lifestyle came as a complete shock to him. It also gave him hope. He joked about her 'going soft' but he was the one who brought up having kids. Of course he had reminded her of his comment a few weeks ago when he referred to them as 'mutant ninja assassins'. He waited for her denial but it never came. She just laughed and smiled at him. He wanted kids more than anything. And more than anything he wanted kids with her. He knew he couldn't just come right out and say it so he joked about 'helping her' with it if that was what she wanted to do. Her feet were tucked under his leg and she didn't kick him. She didn't insult him. She didn't roll her eyes. She just said "Oh." He had no idea where the conversation would have gone if the rock hadn't come sailing through the window. He had never felt closer to her emotionally than at that moment.

This afternoon when he came home to find the blood on the floor, his heart felt like it stopped for a minute. He couldn't breathe. She was hurt and she needed him. When he found her sitting on the side of the bathtub it didn't register that she was dressed only in a towel. He was so relieved to find her unharmed that he almost ran to her but thankfully he managed to restrain himself. When he realized she was in a towel it would have been unthinkable not to tease her about it. He had caught her peeking through her fingers as he walked away and he couldn't help but laugh. She was just so adorable.

Paulina and Brett were nice enough but there had been something bothering him about them from the beginning. If he hadn't been so freaked out by the way Brett couldn't take his eyes off Kensi, he might have realized what was going on. Paulina was practically drooling over him but he just kept watching Brett with his partner.

When Kensi started the story of how Justin and Melissa met he was worried at what she might come up with. They hadn't really talked about that part of their aliases so he steeled himself for whatever she was about to throw at him. When she started telling about how they had actually met he was truly surprised. Of course she changed it up a bit but the truth was in there somewhere. The look in her eyes when she said that she knew it was 'meant to be' shook him to his core. Was she trying to unnerve him or was she just playing the part of Melissa? He was confused and trying to figure it out when Brett asked if she remembered what he had been wearing. She very quickly recited exactly what he had worn that day and his confusion was compounded. How did she remember that?

Paulina then turned the tables and asked him if he remembered what she had been wearing. Of course he remembered. He would never forget that day but it was something he didn't want to share with anyone else. It was his memory and he kept it tucked safely away but when he saw the look of disappointment on Kensi's face he couldn't bear to let her think he didn't remember. So, he had looked only at her and softly listed what he remembered that day over two years ago. She had gazed back at him with such a look of happiness and pride on her face that he couldn't look away. Paulina had said they were cute. No, Kensi was cute. Kensi was beautiful.

Then Brett asked when he knew she was 'the one'. He was so thankful the timer on the oven had buzzed. He definitely had an answer to that but he would never share it with anyone. Well maybe he would share it with Kensi… someday.

He would have been forced to make something up because the truth would have blown their cover completely. If he could have been honest he might have said he knew for sure when she had been taken by the Russians or when Stan King had almost killed her. He could have said it was when he had seen her dressed in any of those revealing outfits Hetty managed to find for her or he could have said it was the first time he saw her shoot. The truth was he knew the minute he saw her in the boatshed after his MMA fight with Sam. The moment when he realized she was a Federal Agent and not a junkie. It had been validated over and over again by the experiences they had shared. It had also been confirmed by every girl he had tried to date since he met her. None of them measured up. He tried to have a normal life and think of her only as his partner but it was hopeless. He had quit trying. He hadn't been on a date in six months and the only time he had been to a bar lately had been with her. He hadn't been to a club without her either. He had no desire to be with anyone but her.

Yes he had teased her about Paulina but he was just trying to make her jealous. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. This afternoon when he talked about Paulina being a model it hadn't fazed her. She knew where he would be until this op was over so comments like that were obviously ignored. He would be right there beside her. Day and night.

Now that he thinks back on it, maybe it had bothered her more than he realized. While he was intent on watching Brett fawn all over her she must have been watching Paulina with him. While she may not have any true romantic feelings towards him she was definitely territorial when it came to other women flirting with him. He had seen it many times over the last two years.

But never in that time had she ever resorted to kissing him. Sure there had been a peck on the cheek here and there over the last few days but it was always in public when their aliases were in play. He couldn't come to grips with why she had done it. There were a dozen things she could have done to sell the reason why they were standing on the same side of the table. Kissing would have never crossed his mind. Yes it would have been great but the consequences of him doing that to her would have been unbearable so he would have never considered it. So why had she? And why had she been so bothered by him staring at her? It wasn't like he didn't do it all the time. Why had this time been different? And for the record, if she was his wife he would stare at her a lot!

She kissed him. It had been so shocking and he had done a terrible job of covering it up. A married couple caught kissing shouldn't have been such a big deal but he couldn't talk and couldn't think. All he wanted to do was grab her and kiss her again only this time it would be for real.

He had dreamed many times of kissing her but having it actually happen was… indescribable. His heart pounded loudly in his chest and he felt as if he was paralyzed. It took him a second or two to register what was happening. When he finally collected himself enough to respond, they were interrupted by Brett and Paulina. When Kensi pulled away he was speechless and most definitely in shock. Again… torture.

He had hoped to spend a few more nights with Kensi as Melissa and Justin but it was not to be. They had given the wedding rings back to Hetty and were heading home for the evening. She was tired and had told him goodnight just as she had done a hundred times before. She even teased him and called him 'Hubby.'

He didn't even want to go home. The thought of sleeping without her was too painful. He drove along the Pacific Coast Highway and found a spot to look out across the ocean but it did nothing to alleviate the pain in his heart. He thought through everything that had happened to them during this assignment and began to realize just how much of it had actually been Kensi and Deeks and not Melissa and Justin. Suddenly he remembered what she had said earlier.

"It is nice to have someone to say goodnight to at the end of the day."

If she really meant that then maybe he should test her. Without really thinking it through he jumped back in his car and drove to her house. He parked out front and watched for movement inside. The lights were off and he saw no sign of her. He was about to change his mind and drive home when he had an idea. He pulled out his phone and typed out a text message that said,

'_Goodnight Kens. I miss you.'_

He struggled with actually sending it but decided to go ahead. If she was already asleep, she would read it in the morning and maybe have a good laugh about it. He pressed send and then held his breath. A few seconds later he received a text back and couldn't help but smile.

'_Goodnight Marty. I miss you too. xoxo'_

He thought before he responded then answered with;

'_Wow. My first name and another kiss? What did I do to deserve this?'_

Her answer was almost immediate.

_'You remembered.'_

Could this be real? Did she really have feelings for him too? If remembering what she wore over two years ago had affected her enough to use his first name it must mean there is something there. Something good. And there was only one way to find out for sure.

He got out of the car and walked to her front door. He typed out a simple message and hoped she wouldn't get upset.

_'Open the door.'_

He knocked then waited patiently for her to answer. He didn't have to wait long. She opened the door and he noticed the flush and beautiful smile on her face. He hadn't really thought about what he would do or say when she answered the door but as she turned to face him after he was inside his heart took control of his head and he reached for her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and his other hand cupped her cheek as he bent down and kissed her.

All of his dreams about kissing her were absolutely dull now that he was experiencing the real thing. He can honestly say he has never been affected so much by just a kiss and he never wants it to end.

When they had to break for air, he leaned his forehead against hers and said, "I fought with every ounce of my strength to keep from doing that this past week."

He felt her shiver as she replied, "No need to fight anymore."

He kissed her again but this time he couldn't control himself. He couldn't get enough and wanted more. She gently pushed him back and reached for his hand as she pulled him with her toward her bedroom.

They stopped beside her bed and he kissed her again. His curiosity got the best of him and he had to ask, "How did you remember what I was wearing that day?"

She looked embarrassed at first but then she smiled up at him and answered, "Because I couldn't get you out of my head and that was how I pictured you every time I thought of you."

He smiled as she asked, "How did you remember what I was wearing?"

At this point, honesty was the best policy so he answered her from his heart, "Because you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and I was mesmerized by your eyes. When I was undercover all those months, I thought of you often in that outfit."

He kissed her again and couldn't help but tease her a little, "Well, that outfit and thinking about you in those pictures wearing nothing but a smile."

She laughed and pulled him down on the bed with her. "Much better," she grinned. "This bed was way too big without you in it."

"So was mine," he said seriously as he kissed her neck and collarbone. He thought about what he was going to say next. It would either make him extremely happy or would break his heart into a million pieces but he had to know for sure.

"This is me Kens, not Justin, not your partner but Marty." He looked into her eyes and whispered, "Can we make this work? I don't want to start something if you don't want to this relationship to grow. I can't do this for a while and then just go back to the way it was and pretend it never happened."

There, he had done it. He held his breath as he waited for her response. He had expected her to say she wasn't sure or maybe even that she would try but couldn't promise anything. He had prepared himself for either of those answers. He would be happy with whatever she decided just as long as she didn't tell him to go away and leave her alone. He was totally unprepared for what she actually said.

"I love you Marty."

He just stared at her in surprise and finally said, "What?"

"I said I love you Marty."

He was again in shock. She was so unpredictable but he loved everything about her. He wrapped his arms around her possessively and smiled brightly at her.

"And I love you Kensi."

He kissed her passionately and felt at peace for the first time in his life. As they melted into each other he couldn't help but think about their latest mission and how it had brought them together. It had been the best assignment ever.

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_**A/N I don't know if we are going to be able to wait the whole summer to resolve the cliffhanger that it supposed to happen tonight! Good reading and please review!**_


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